Awareness and Treatment is Better, But Compassion Still Lacks for Mental Health

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Awareness of, and treatment for, mental health disorders has improved over the years.  Depression screeners are incorporated into routine physical exams at doctor’s office visits to catch any underlying, or unspoken, mental health issue.  Additionally, many school websites have links to inform of mental health resources in the area.  Helping to destigmatize mental health conversations in sports, athletes like Olympic women’s gymnast, Simone Biles, and tennis star, Naomi Osaka have spoken out about their journey with mental health.  And awareness that mental health is as important as physical health is growing.  Last month, Gov. J.B. Pritzker signed a new law whereby students statewide may now take up to five mental health days per year without a doctor's note.  The bill, which also encourages schools to connect students with mental health resources, passed the Illinois House and Senate unanimously.  All of this is great progress.

Yet, despite progress, compassion regarding mental health still lacks. Nails-on-a-chalkboard-cringeworthy-utterances remain when it comes to mental health in conversation.  I recently had a person share with me that an educator, within the first five minutes of the first day of class, uttered the following two grievances:

“I’m pretty OCD about homework being turned in on time.”

“Your parents are gonna be so bipolar next fall when you leave for college.”

We can do better.  We need to do better.  Such verbal slights are viscous and have a cost. The use of a mental health diagnosis as an adjective in conversation contradicts efforts to destigmatize mental health. Further, this language is wounding, especially when spoken by someone with whom a person living with this diagnosis needs to interact with on a regular basis.  If we say mental health is as important as physical health, then we need to respect it in our language.

This blog is an invitation for us to be mindful of, and edit, our vernacular.  Perhaps we could agree to refrain from using mental health diagnoses such as OCD, bipolar, and “schizoid,” to describe, or identify with, everyday experiences.  These are disorders that may create immense pain and dysfunction for the person living with the diagnosis.  The impact of such words, whether intentional or not, demean, and invalidate a person’s experience of living with the diagnosis.  It feels insulting to the loved ones of the person diagnosed.  Further such speech negatively impacts the person’s emotional, mental, physical, skeletal, respiratory, cardiovascular system that is already weathered. 

I’d also like to suggest two other “unacceptables” in conversation about suicide. 

Rather than stating that someone killed themselves, state they “died by suicide.”  (In an earlier blog I explain the reasoning behind this in detail.) And please, never use the phrase, “go kill yourself” as an angry retort.  Hopefully the suggestion to omit this aggressive threat is self-explanatory.

Let’s find the right word in our speech.  For example, in rephrasing the educator’s statements cited prior, instead of “I’m so OCD about homework” one could say, “I’m very particular about the formatting of your homework.”  And instead of “your parents will be bipolar when you leave for college,” one could describe, “your parents, and you, will likely experience a wild range of emotions prepping for college drop off.” 

COMPASSION IN SPEECH AS A VIRTUE VS. THEM BEING “TOO-SENSITIVE”

I’m well aware of the “snowflake generation” mentality, but this is not about those with mental health diagnoses being entitled, too sensitive, and overly emotional.  This is not a burden upon those without mental health diagnoses needing to be gentle in speech for them.  This is about our ability as a human to use our strength of compassion as a tool in the world.  When we regard the Yama of Ahimsa, non-violence, we benefit too. Wisdom traditions remind us to engage in choices and behaviors that serve our wellbeing as well as the wellbeing of others. As Mark Nepo writes in The Book of Awakening, “…the reward for truth…is not justice or knowledge or expertise – though these things may happen – but joy; and the reward for kindness is not goodness or being thought well of or even having kindness returned – those these things may happen too.  No, the reward for kindness, as well, is joy.”

Never forget the importance of spreading joy, kindness, and compassion in the world.  “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

– Robin Williams

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